In lesson number two I promised that the next lesson would be entitled
"Appreciating Reality." As I sat down to write today it struck me that
this title is too passive. "Giving back to Reality" is more accurate as
the theme. Reality is giving to me faster than I can calculate it, either
in quantity or kind. But instead of focusing on this, I don't know why,
usually I find myself ruminating over my problems and what troubles me.
From the Constructive Living perspective, this mental habit, albeit natural,
is unrealistic. It is an incomplete activity, as well as a waste of time,
in many cases. I seem to have lots of mental data about what I lack and
the obstacles to my desires. To really see my life I must make an effort
to look at the details of all that surrounds me and all that supports me.
I need to develop some skill at discerning the many gifts that life brings
to me. I need to really see the water that my thirsty body is swimming
in, to paraphrase a title.
A common first CL exercise is to say "thank you" ten times a day to someone:
a partner, friend or office worker. While it is a simple exercise in theory,
the doing of it creates a new way of looking at life. It invites me to
cultivate my awareness of the many gifts that I receive and points my attention
to the source of the gift. It reminds me that a proper response to a gift
or service is appreciation and reciprocation. This perspective smashes
the notion of the "self-made person," which so many of us work hard to
construct and protect. The problem with this idealized view of the self
is that it is simply not realistic. "No man is an island." Waking up to
the truth of ones indebtedness and interconnectedness can be a valuable
lesson.
These ideas are not new to CL. This awareness can be found in many philosophies
and spiritual disciplines. Constructive Living's perspective derives from
a Japanese practice called Naikan. This form asks the participant to use
three powerful questions to correct their view. These questions may be
asked concerning individuals- family, friends, mentors, enemies, even strangers.
The questions may also be asked with reference to a day or an event in
ones life.
These are the questions for reflection:
1. What have I received from ____?
2. What have I given to ________?
3. What troubles and bothers have I caused________?
You may also use these three questions as a daily inventory. Called "Daily
Naikan" practice, these three questions provide a frame for assessing the
day. Many CL students keep a daily journal, filling in the details of the
specific gifts, troubles and efforts to repay others.
Answering Naikan's questions and the simple exercise of saying "thank you"
starts a new habit of mind. This perspective has been shown to be very
useful in helping a student discover his purpose. Naikan's ledger reminds
us of our debts. The proper response to this awareness is action. A constructive
life emerges as one works little by little to return something to Reality.
Assignment#3 Pick Up Trash
At least once a week, go out into some public place and pick up trash for
a half hour. Dispose of it properly.
To continue on to Lesson # 4 click this link: Lesson 4: ACTING on REALITY